Someone else beat me to the punch, “did they read him his Carmen Miranda rights?”

Police arrest man for pointing a banana in their direction, causing them “to fear for their lives”. 

Michael Brown could not be reached for comment.

Home improvement

A friend is preparing to paint her basement after a couple of decades and found this, left behind by my daughter Kate and another friend (Cliff, you know who you are) when, I’d guess, they were maybe 8, 10 years old. Pal Nancy suggests that it looks like something the Manson gang might have left behind but to me, I’d bet our friend could sell the wall as an “installation” in a NYC gallery and get millions.

Better yet, she could sell it directly to Steve Cohen.

Watch out, Walt, they’re going after your pals

Is it the black hood on the poor guy that makes this racist?

Dutch beer under fire by New Yorkers for its “racist” slogan, “You’ll be a slave to the flavor”. Since the beer’s logo is a dominatrix with a (white) slave at her feet, we can assume that, just as “master bedroom” and “slave cylinder” have been banished from the politically correct dictionary, dominatrixes must now refer to their clients as “friends with benefits”.

Related headlines?

Still smiling – former Speaker of the House is still speaker of HER house and for now, that will have to do

Beginning of the end for Nancy Pelosi?

Disruptive pig kicked off US Airways flight.

The real beginning of the end for Pelosi was probably marked in 2010, when she lost her position of Speaker of the (Democratic) House and was forced to quit using the US Air Force’s fleet of Gulfstreams as her personal taxi service (85 trips in 16 months leading up to that sad day, including trips for grandchildren, friends  and business associates). Will she ever regain her private air-limo service? Only when pigs fly.

Next, she’ll warn us of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide

AG Karen Straughn, guardian of the stupid people – takes one to know one?

Maryland’s Assistant Attorney for Consumer Protection warns her citizens to beware of an urban myth.

According to ABC’s 7online.com, the consumer protection advocate is telling people that if they suddenly notice a $100 bill on their windshield, they should not get out of their cars:

Most people would, possibly thinking it’s a holiday gift from a stranger, but, really, authorities say, it could just be how you get caught in a scam. Authorities in Maryland are warning people about the potential for this kind of scam, particularly around the holidays.

They’re warning people that when the driver exits the car with the door open to grab the bill, a thief has the opportunity to steal the vehicle.

Um… before even discussing the fact that this is an urban myth, can we think about it logically for just a sec? How could you be in your car and then notice a $100 bill on your windshield? Did you get in with your eyes closed? And if someone was standing close by, ready to pounce, why would he bother with a $100 bill? You’re there, he’s there. Pounce.

And how many pouncers have a cool, crisp $100 bill to use (and perhaps lose!) on this venture, anyway? Wouldn’t a $10 bill work just as well? Or even a coupon for a free Chipotle?

But, of course, all that is beside the point. Straughn, a public protectress, says she has heard one “unknown resident” mention “one incident” of this happening—the old friend-of-a-friend grapevine—but “has not seen a police report about it.” Of course not. No one has. Because it never happened.

She’ll probably wait for summer, when the swimming pools reopen, to issue an alert on DMO.

For the first time in memory, Macy’s Thanksgiving parade should be fun to watch

That deflated feeling

Anarchists plan to stop the parade and De Blasio has ordered the cops to do nothing

Anarchists plotted on Wednesday to disrupt the Thanksgiving Day Parade — feeling emboldened after cops allowed them to run free on major roadways like the FDR Drive and the West Side Highway, The Post has learned.

“The police aren’t going to arrest us and they are not going to shoot us,” an organizer who calls himself “Magiq” boasted to a group of two dozen rabble-rousers at a Union Square planning session Wednesday night.

“Don’t let consumerism outshine injustice. Keep the NYC protests going, stomp right over Macy’s thanksgiving parade,” wrote a user named Aleks!

“Stopping the parade would make such a huge statement,” added a user named Luna ­Koshka, who added, “We can see snoopy next year. But Mike Browns[sic] mother will never see her child again.”

“We feel empowered. We feel rejuvenated right now,” Senegal Mapry, 18, of Manhattan, said during an earlier gathering at Union Square Wednesday.

“The police are backing down because they don’t want to cause any more riots. If they put their hands on another minority, all-out war will break out.”

Sources said Mayor de Blasio ordered the NYPD to give a free ride to the mobs that blocked the Lincoln Tunnel, Brooklyn Bridge and other major thoroughfares Tuesday night.

“It’s coming from City Hall,” a source said. “We’re being told if it’s only traffic violations, don’t do anything.”

Conflicting advice

Hi, “Dad”

Don’t invite food poisoning to your Thanksgiving dinner

Felon willing to come over and ruin your family’s Thanksgiving.

A man in Texas with no plans for Thanksgiving has posted an ad on Craigslist offering his services as a prospective date from hell available to attend a family gathering on Thursday and promising to cause a major scene.

Nick Schmidt posted his one-of-a-kind offer in the casual encounters section of Craigslist Nashville on Thursday.

In a post entitled ‘Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? Read on…’, Schmidt described himself as a ‘28-year-old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar.’

It’s Thanksgiving.

Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how you’re still single? About how your parents really want more grand children? Well, look no further!

I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar.

I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I’m a line cook and work late nights at a bar.

If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things, at your request:

• openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don’t notice.
• start discussions about politics and/or religion.
• propose to you in front of everyone.
• pretend to be really drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, i don’t drink, but i used to. alot. too much in fact. i know the drill).

Start an actual, physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see.

I require no pay but the free meal i will receive as a guest!

His offer’s already been accepted, but there’s still time to book him for Christmas

I’d forgotten this

Who are you again?

Drinking coffee fights Alzheimer’s.

“The majority of human epidemiological studies suggest that regular coffee consumption over a lifetime is associated with a reduced risk of developing Alzheimer’s Disease, with an optimum protective effect occurring with three to five cups of coffee per day.”

Al Gore Thanksgiving

(nah, not really a current photo, but it’s a fun picture from a Maine blizzard)

For those who like snow with their turkey, and the Fountains do, Portland’s the place to be today. Three inches already, another 8″ or so predicted. As for Global Warming Al, that turkey’s probably on his houseboat somewhere in the Caribbean.

State indoctrination

S**t on a shingle

Philadelphia and Boston school systems adopt “meatless Mondays” in response to animal rights activists. 

The action comes after activists from The Humane League of Philadelphia and the Washington, D.C.-based Humane Society “worked to build support for meatless menus in Philadelphia schools.”

“They’re really looking forward to expand meat-free options in the future,” Kristil Smith, food policy manager for The Humane Society, says.

“We support it because it’s a great way to reduce the number of animals suffering on factory farms.”

The SRC made the decision to “satisfy tastes of a diverse student body.” The school system provides interpretation and translation services in 10 languages, including Arabic, Spanish, American Sign Language, Chinese and Vietnamese, as well.

The newspaper notes Buffalo, Detroit, Houston and Los Angeles have signed on as well.

We’ve moved from pressuring children to recite the Pledge of Allegiance to joining in every politically correct movement foisted on the country by zealots of the left. Home schooling keeps looking better.

Boston recently endorsed the campaign, too.

On Mondays, students in Boston Public Schools are “filling their trays with black bean burrito bowls, garden fresh salads topped with chickpeas, protein-packed chili, and more,” according to the Humane Society.

The organization takes credit for the school district making the move to embrace what the group calls “compassionate eating.”

UPDATE: I was curious how well Philadelphia’s doing with actually educating its students, since the city feels it has time to devote to indoctrination into new social agendas. Turns out, 2/3 of the adult population is functionally illiterate. So actually, the new vegetarianism program makes sense: if they can’t read, these people will never be able to make both ends meat.

This perfectly sums up Obama’s view of America

“The only people who have a right to complain about new immigrants are some native Americans”

Off to Maine

1 Random Road

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving – the Fountain clan plans to. Snowstorm up there tomorrow, maybe, so this seems like a good time to drive up to meet it. Nothing much doing in real estate this week anyway – the MLS shuts down tomorrow at noon and reopens Monday, but here’s one open house that might be of interest, a bank owned house at 1 Random Road, Old Greenwich, asking $1.595. I remember it as being in fairly rough shape back in the day, and the foreclosure process rarely inspires maintenance or improvements, but south of the Village, nice street, so … maybe.

I’ll post from time to time, and check in to make sure Walt hasn’t gone (further) off the rails.

An answer that’s no solution, and one that is

Marilyn Monroe prepares for bed: no objectional fat here

FDA releases new regulations requiring delis to count the calories in that cheese steak.

“I consider this an enormous advance for public health education and well worth the long wait,” said Marion Nestle, a prominent nutrition expert and public health professor at New York University. “This is great news for public health and, hopefully, an incentive to restaurants to reformulate their offerings to be lower in calories.”

The food industry disagrees, and points out at least one unintended consequence:

Rosado said 95 percent of food in grocery stores comes with nutrition information, thanks to a 1990 law that required labels on packaged foods, and that prepared foods represent only a fraction of each store’s business. Requiring labels for fresh food made in grocery stores, delis and bakeries could cost the industry hundreds of millions of dollars in signage, worker training and laboratory tests to determine the calories in each dish, he said. He thinks it also might prompt stores to carry fewer freshly made items to avoid the regulatory headaches.

“You’re penalizing any kind of freshness. . . . It’s going to be replaced with prepackaged food,” Rosado said. “It’s going to have a negative impact for grocery store consumers.”

But does the FDA’s new regulation focus on the wrong solution to ridding America of fat people in the first place? Scientists now suggest that it is : Don’t bother counting calories; it’s the type of food that counts. Our government and its mouthpieces haven’t heard the news, though.

Remember when “accepted science” warned against saturated fat? The American Heart Association still does, insisting as recently as this past September that it’s bad, bad stuff:

Eating foods that contain saturated fats raises the level of cholesterol in your blood. High levels of LDL cholesterol in your blood increase your risk of heart disease and stroke.

The more important thing to remember is the overall dietary picture. Saturated fats are just one piece of the puzzle. In general, you can’t go wrong eating more fruits, vegetables, whole grains and fewer calories.

When you hear about the latest “diet of the day” or a new or odd-sounding theory about food, consider the source. The American Heart Association makes dietary recommendations only after carefully considering the latest scientific evidence. 

But the latest scientific evidence shows that to be absolutely false. (You can Google “saturated fats healthy” and find dozens of articles explaining why the government and groups like the American Heart Association have been wrong since the 1950s, but here’s just one.). It’s the sugar that’s killing us, not butter,  and it’s not the number of calories we consume, but their source, yet check out the food aisles at any grocery store and you’ll see at least one, often two aisles stocked entirely with soda pop and Lucky Charms, and, at most, 2′ of the refrigerated section devoted to butter, and a couple of short selves stocking whole milk.

Fortunately for all of us, there is a simple solution that cuts through all these conflicting theories that’s free, fun, and might even be entertaining, depending on whether you have a cuddly bedwarmer with you this winter:

Sleeping in the nude burns more calories, improves health 

If this becomes law here, there are plenty of hedge funders who’ll be able to cry rape

Trophy wife

New Jersey Democrats want to expand rape to include consent to intercourse obtained via fraud or deception.

I know a number of financially sophisticated Greenwich men who have been shocked, shocked to discover that their third wife really didn’t adore their bald spot and Buddha tummy, and were really in it for the money. Who knew?

He really is a stupid head

Obama can’t handle a question from a friendly interrogator. 

President Obama completely fumbles when George Stephanopolous asks him how he’d respond if a future president takes the same action on taxes that Obama has taken on immigration. Incredibly, Obama responds as if he’d never heard or thought of this argument before, stumbling blindly along immigration talking points without answering the actual question.

Stephanopolous asked: “How do you respond to the argument, a future president comes in and wants lower taxes. Doesn’t happen. Congress won’t do it; so he says ‘I’m not going to prosecute those who don’t pay capital gains tax.’”

“The truth of the matter is George,” said the President, haltingly, “The reason that we, have to do.. uhm prosecutorial discretion in immigration, is that we know, that we – are not even close to being able to deal with the folks who have been here a long time…” Obama then pivoted to immigration talking points, without addressing the original question.

“The vast majority of folks understand that they need to pay taxes, and when we conduct an audit, for example, we are selecting those folks who are most likely to be cheating,” said Obama. “We’re not going after millions and millions of people who everybody knows are here and were taking advantage of low wages as they’re mowing lawns or cleaning out bedpans, and looking the other way.”

“So you don’t think it’d be legitimate for a future president to make that argument?” Stephanopoulos said.

Obama: “With respect to taxes? Absolutely not.”

Today Obama did a pre-holiday news dump, announcing 3,400 + new regulations during a week when Americans are pre-occupied (to be fair, Americans don’t seem to notice these things anyway). Many of the most egregious of those regulations are from the EPA. If we get a Republican president in 2016, one of his first official acts should be to summarily suspend via executive order enforcement of all EPA regulations; every single one of them. That would give the new legislature time to abolish the EPA and create a new agency, if necessary, charged with enforcing specific laws enacted by Congress but with no authority to issue regulations on its own.

And, as constitutional scholars like JRH and Dollar Bill will hasten to assure us, it will all be perfectly legal and well with the chief executive’s powers.

Advice we all can use

I’m going to in Disney World!

Except Russia, which already practices it. Kerry to Russia: “Just ignore Obama”. When even the second-dumbest-guy in Washington figures out who the dumbest one is, we’re probably in trouble.

Bottom story of the day

Never let a UM marketing class design your campaign

University of Maine fails to set flannel shirt attendance record.

It looks like it’s raining something besides milk

Coca-Cola introduces new brand of milk it promises “will rain money”.

Not if this proposed ad campaign is used. At least they aren’t selling chocolate milk or lemonade; I’ll give them that, but (t) it sure looks unappetizing to me, especially the last poster on the right. Blow it out your …, buddy.

As if poor India didn’t have enough problems

PETA warrior

Animal rights activists unleash squads of killer monkeys on the populace.

It’s like “Planet of the Apes” in northern India — where countless mobs of marauding monkeys have been wreaking havoc on residents, killing at least one.

Panicked locals in Himachal Pradesh province have been fighting to keep the primates’ paws off of them after an ordinance was passed banning people from capturing the monkeys to sell for medical research, Central European News reports.

The new legislation has led to a primate boom in Shimla, where they have an average of 400 monkey bites per month. The wild creatures are responsible for one death and have left another person in critical condition.

“The growth of monkeys is at its peak,” said regional chief justice Mansoor Ahmad Mir. “It is shocking to record that in the last week, we have lost the precious life of a young woman.”

The unnamed victim was cornered by an angry gang of monkeys when she tried to shoo them off her farm, according to CEN. The vicious beasts attacked and killed the woman.

Locals are up in arms and have condemned the lack of government action.

“Our hands are tied,” said local deputy mayor Takinder Panwar. “We are no longer allowed to cull them or export them for medical research. As a result, the population is too large to be supported in the wild and they come into the town looking for easy food.”

But former Indian Forest Service ranger and Nature Watch campaigner Rajeshwar Negi isn’t ready to budge from his stand on the monkey ban just yet.

“We strongly reject and condemn the demands for either culling or allowing the export of monkeys for medical research,” he said.

Another victim of the wild monkeys is an 86-year-old, who survived an attack by a black-faced langur but is in critical condition at a local hospital with multiple bite wounds and fractures. Langurs can grow up to 4 feet tall and can weigh over 40 pounds, according to CEN.

Easy enough to understand the objection to using monkeys for medical research, although I don’t share that objection, but refusing to allow their culling, and blaming it on an overpopulation of humans? Sounds as though western PETA types have washed ashore in Asia to join their co-religionists who are also fighting GMO grains, capitalism and anything else that might improve the lives of the poor.

Despite the civil unrest and injuries, conservationists claim the only reason the estimated 400,000 monkeys in the region are a problem is because of the rapidly expanding towns and villages being built by humans.

Best comment/intro of the day

Our next president, really?

From Instapundit

WELL, WITH HILLARY IT’S MORE LIKE BEN-GAY AND GIN:  Can any 2016 Democrat have that ‘new car smell’?