Brother Anthony and the Christmas spirit

He's never gotten over getting coal in his stocking back when he was 3

He’s never gotten over getting coal in his stocking back when he was 3


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39 responses to “Brother Anthony and the Christmas spirit

  1. Cos Cobber

    Looks right for a writer in the ny communist times. 🙂

  2. Coal?
    I feel abandoned!
    At least Santa could show he was paying attention to me when the coal showed up in my sock….
    Now that EPA has banned Santa from possessing coal, I expect and empty sock….

  3. Libertarian Advocate

    Quite literally Reductio ad absurdum.

  4. Walt

    Dude –

    May I be so bold as to ask you a question? Thank you.

    You come from the ultimate Waspy Wasp blue blood blood line. You banged your head on Plymouth Rock. You made the turkey what it is today. You burned witches, for Pete’s sake!! Are you guys still into that, BTW? Just asking.

    So. SO!! My question is, how did you get a brother named “Anthony”? Was he adopted? Left at your step? The little red headed bastard that you all ridiculed? You have a brother named GIDEON!! The most waspy of waspy names!! It screams ascots and Jaguars. And then you have a TONY!!

    Does he wear a wife beater and live in Cos Cob? Plow snow for a living? Steal his cable TV? Wear gold medallions and pinky rings?

    Does he watch the Godfather nonstop? Say “youse guys”? Marry a girl with hairy armpits and a unibrow? Or is that the Greeks? SAME DIFFERENCE!!

    Just wondering.

    Your Pal,

    • Would it ameliorate things for you any Walt to know my middle name is Chase? (Anthony was originally Antoine, back in the days of the Huguenots.) Anthony Chase Fountain: c’mon, you can’t get a stuffier sounding name than that!

  5. Walt

    Tony –

    Home Boy….Homie…Would it “ameliorate” me any better?

    AMELIORATE? YES I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!! You are your brother’s keeper. A stuck up Huguenot impressed by fancy nancy words. Chris tries that crap all the time. And he doesn’t even know what the words mean. But he is “special”.

    Anyhows, may I kindly retort to your question? “Chase” is an appropriate Waspy Wasp name. Can we insert Thurston? That will give you a chance to compete with “Gideon”, the ultimate waspy wasp name. You need to go all out to top that. He has set a serious Wasp hurdle. Plus the Jag. This guy takes his waspiness to a new level. And I am serious here.

    I root for the underdog, so I am on your team. DON’T DISAPPOINT ME!!

    Buy an ascot. If you smoke, use a cigarette holder. Do you have a top hat? If not, GET ONE. Do you have children? I WANT THEM NAMED MUFFY AND BUFFY AND CHIP!! AND ALL THE THIRD! That’s important.

    Don’t let me down on this Tony. I am counting on your Waspiness.
    And Merry Christmas to you and yours. I mean that sincerely. And stop burning witches. They are a lot of fun at parties.

    Your Pal,

  6. Walt

    Dude –

    May I posit a question? Thank you very much. And Happy Chanukakakakk.

    Is Bill DeBlassio what Francis aspires to? Is this what Lee Mazzili thinks we should aspire to? I WANT THE TRUTH. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! A FEW GOOD MEN DUDE!! Francis and Lee are all that is wrong with our political system. YES I SAID IT!!

    DeBlassio’s divisive, antagonistic, and hateful rhetoric has caused the death of two innocent policemen. Uncle Al as well. He sickens me. They all make money off of hate. They capitalize on it. And they will burn in hell because of it.

    Francis and Lee support this. They sicken me. Although they are OBLIGATED to try and change this. THAT’S WHAT WE PAY THEM FOR!! Step up. Do the right thing. Embrace by party politics. Show you have some balls. No insult meant, Lee. You have bigger balls than Francis.

    Blood is on your hands Francis. And you as well, Lee. Do you want to discuss this? Or just hide in shame from the pain you have brought? There is no war on women. There is no war by the police on black people. There is a systemic problem in the black community, which you have brought on by buying black votes.

    ADDRESS THAT FRANCIS!! ADDRESS THAT LEE!! I really would like to discuss this. Because it is a problem we elected you to deal with. And you can’t. You vermin.

    And Merry Christmas to you both. What time should I come over? Should I bring cookies?

    Your Pal,

  7. Walt

    Dude –
    We have lost a great one today. An idiot servant. Just like you. This defines greatness:

    Joe will be missed.
    Your Pal,

    • Anonymous Citizenette

      When one of the old rock stars of my youth like Joe Cocker dies it makes me feel just a tad older. Lung cancer from what I understand. If anyone is still a smoker, please give your family a great gift this year and quit.

  8. Dollar Bill

    Who said Ayn Rand and her fellow band of anti-altruist/atheists didn’t enjoy the Xmas season? Enjoy all you Fountainheads!

  9. there is always the Millennial version:

  10. Peg

    When I was very little, we had a Christmas tree. It, too, was little – and fake. Yet, I loved all the ornaments we’d put on it – and the festivities of setting it up were grand, too.

    Then when I was about 5, a neighbor mentioned to my mom how disgusting it was for a Jewish family to have a Christmas tree. That was it; the tree and the ornaments vanished.

    I’ve never quite thought of decorating like Brother Antoine Chase…. only wish our busybody neighbor could have kept her big mouth shut and my beloved tree could have lasted a few more years.

    • Anonymous Citizenette

      I worked with a very Jewish older lady many years ago; she introduced this Catholic girl to all kinds of Jewish treats and customs. She was the one who put up the office Christmas tree and had more holiday spirit than most people I know.

      • Peg

        Exactly, Anon Citizenette! You do not have to be Christian to enjoy Christmas. The spirit and the festivities have always been a joy to this non-religious Jew O:)

        • Anthony Fountain

          Peg, I used to live in the heart of an orthodox Jewish neighborhood in northern Manhattan. Ever Christmas there would be loud knock on the door and it would be my next door neighbor, an Auschwitz survivor, who would, in a booming voice, wish me Merry Christmas and invite me to his apartment for a generous pour of single-malt scotch. He was a godly man who kept Christmas as well as anyone I know. So Merry Christmas!

  11. Peg

    Anthony; love that story! Merry Christmas to you, Christopher and ALL the Fountain clan!

  12. Walt

    Dude –

    I would be remiss, abyss, thoughtless, silly, stupid, and absent minded if I didn’t take a moment to wish you and yours a Happy Festivus. We are still doing the whole politically correct thing, right Dude? Francis would be happy. Wish that commie a Happy Festivus as well.

    Did you finish all of your shopping? Are you near an LL Bean Outlet? Can you pick me up some flannel boxers? Extra large crotch. Of course.

    What are you hoping to get as a gift? Literacy? A sense of humor? Those would both be appropriate for you to wish for. And most appreciated on my part if you actually got them..

    Are you cooking a Festivus turkey or doing road kill? You heathen.

    Now remember. And this is most important. The Holidays can be a hectic time. We all run around, and buy crappy gifts for others, and tend to forget what Christmas is all about. It is not about hotties all dressed up in little Santa skirts and FMP’s. Although it should be. It’s about family and the moment. Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t fret about the past. Just enjoy where you are, and realize how lucky you are to have all of those around you. And give them a hug. That is what is most important.

    That is what Christmas is all about.

    SO MERRY CHRISTMAS!! And all the best to you and yours. And the reader too!!

    You frigging loser. Have a most Merry!!

    Your Pal,

  13. Publius

    In Hoc Anno Domini

    Worth a moment to read regardless of faith

  14. a skosh of entertainment for the holidays:


  15. Call It Like I See It

    The Message in the Scale

  16. Christmas is over. Back to the barricades.

    Communism’s consequences in Cuba are predicable:

    “Cuba long restricted car ownership almost entirely to prominent bureaucrats, high achievers in their fields and professionals who completed government service abroad.”

    Leftism has been such a complete failure that the only people left who believe in it are $ Bill, Obama, university professors and the US media.

    As Reagan said, some ideas are so stupid that only an intellectual could believe them.

  17. Flash

    Looking at my Xmas card from tax assessor (what timing)
    Cannot understand why the tremendous increase in tax assessments for all these new houses and renovations had not REDUCED the taxes.

    I blame the fertility rate of new residents.