If he needs a ride over, I’m there

Hands up!

Hands up!

Michael Moore: Clint Eastwood threatened to kill me if I showed up at his door.


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22 responses to “If he needs a ride over, I’m there

  1. Fred2

    And by “kill” he meant calling the cops on the trespasser so the body guards can hand his fat ass over to them. And then getting a restraining order.


  2. i’ll give you a hand if we have to toss him the trunk.

  3. AJ

    Why would anyone bother to kill Michael Moore: he’s just a few corn dogs away from killing himself, sort of like a tick that gorges itself until it explodes.

  4. Fred2

    On the other hand this could be fun.
    We can create a catapult, and when Eastwood yells “Pull!” it’ll be like clay pigeons!

    Wow, if Clint is up for it, I’ve got a whole list of people we could exercise the catapult on and that’s just Hollywood.

    I’m sure Mr. Eastwood could make a charity event of it.

  5. Gnawbone

    How do I send Eastwood ammo?

    • AJ

      Ammo? If “Fat Pete” Chiodo could survive twelve bullet wounds in an attempted mafia hit, what makes you think Michael Moore would fare any worse? This is a job for a rocket propelled grenade launcher.

      • AJ

        Or would that just be like in that movie “Jarhead 2” where the guy gets hit by an RPG and gets lifted off the ground and taken for a ride before he hits a wall and explodes. Shield of Blubber.

      • it is going to take much, much more than an RPG if this cautionary tale is any guide:

        • AJ

          Wow, all those bloody, foul smelling chunks of whale raining down on people, sort of like a Devil’s rain.

  6. Anonymous

    Rumor has it that the largest portion of the whale was buried under the fields at GHS. The area will be excavated as soon as the statue of Coach Al is erected in front of the school. Preliminary plans call for the traditional coach with a whistle pose, pockets full of cash, stomping on a trophy. The statue is to be paid for by the GYFL in appreciation for nothing. Former captain promises to egg the statue immediately after installation. All will be forgiven as long as said captain comes up with MLB All Star tickets.

  7. Anonymous

    Moore looks so unhealthy, he has got to be slowly killing himself. No intervention is necessary.

  8. Anonymous

    Michael Moore has become a ridiculous parody of himself, who isn’t worth the cost of a bullet.

  9. AJ

    Clint Eastwood says he thinks it would be funny to see Michael Moore Dancing.