Put him on the Supreme Court, now

Ohio judge dismisses a pro se inmate’s really shitty case by writing a poem.

Cold showers caused his bowels to malfunction

Or so the plaintiff claims

A strict uncaring prison guard

Is whom the plaintiff blames.

While in line for recreation

And little time for hesitation

His anal sphincter just exploded

The plaintiff’s britches quickly loaded.

It made the inmates laugh and play

To see the plaintiff’s pants this way

The foul, unsightly, putrid mess

Caused the plaintiff major stress.

Claiming loss and shame to boot

The plaintiff filed the present suit

But the law provideth no relief

From such unmitigated grief.

Neither runs nor constipation

Can justify this litigation

Whether bowels constrict or flex

De minimus non curat lex.

 

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Put him on the Supreme Court, now

  1. Mickster

    Outstanding – s/b “minimis” but outstanding. Kinda of shi**y way to start the year.

  2. Flash

    Bravo for Judge
    Hope he stays on the bench and doesn’t take a TV series

  3. former og lifer

    Forget the Supreme Court – I’d like to see him in the White House Oval Office