Miles Cowperthwaite: “Do me again, hard, and keep doing it!”
Yale’s staying put in Connecticut.
“It’s wonderful to be recognized as an outstanding asset, but Yale, New Haven, and Connecticut have been on common ground to great mutual benefit for 300 years. We’re looking forward to reaching even greater heights in education, research and civic engagement over the next three centuries and more,” Yale spokesman Tom Conroy said in a statement provided to the News.
Hey, Yale can do what it wants to do, but the land of safe spaces and puppy dog counselors does seem to be rather thoroughly enjoying its rough treatment by Hartford Democrats. In fact, the whole institution sounds quite a bit like the crew of HMS Raging Queen.
Captain Ned: Is this how men act on a man’s ship? Where is your manliness? Fighting on deck is a serious breach on my articles of strict discipline! I’m afraid the guilty party is in for a very severe punishment!
Sailor #1: Captain.. I did indeed take Mr. Spunk’s spot. I’m ready to accept my punishment..
First Mate Spunk: Captain! I threw the first blow. If anyone is to be punished, let it be me. I ask only that whatever you do, please don’t put me in a tight-fitting Lassie costume and make me eat from a monogrammed dog dish.
Sailor #2: [ entering ] Captain, I encouraged this fight – punish me! Make me wear nipple-pinching clothespins, sir!
Sailor #3: [ entering ] Me, Captain! Punish me!
Captain Ned: Stop! I’ve heard enough! Your manly admission of guilt is most manful. However, as your Captain, it is I who must bear the full masculine responsibility! And therefore, I will be punished. Spunk! Take me alone! I want a boiling oil rub..