Greenwich’s own John Paul Tudor Jones spoke to NYC Buckley students the other day, warning that they would face failure in their lives. The Atlantic’s most excellent columnist Megan McArdle suspects that Buckley kids are not likely to experience real, total failure any more than a hedge funder like JPT Jones is.
[John Paul Tudor Jones) “So here is the point: you are going to meet the dragon of failure in your life. You may not get into the school you want, or you may get kicked out of the school you are in. You may get rejected by the girl of your dreams, or, God forbid, get into an accident beyond your control. But the point is, everything happens for a reason. At the time, it may not be clear. And certainly the pain and the shame are going to be overwhelming and devastating. But as sure as the sun comes up, there will come a time on the next day or next week or next year when you will grab that sword and tell him “Be gone, dragon.”
[McArdle:] This seems like a pretty safe bet when you’re talking to Buckley students, who have an ample safety net underneath them to allow them to bounce back from nearly any failure. But would he really say this to, say, a 55 year old man who’d just been fired from his sales job? Bad things–persistentbad things–happen to good people, and while it’s comforting to think of them as merely a way station, for lots of people that isn’t really true. It only seems true to people who have been spectacular successes, because for them every failure actually just one more step towards the happy place they enjoy today. Sure, you can always rise over adversity. But a significant number of people will never again rise to the level they previously enjoyed.
It may seem incongruous for a Greenwich blogger to suggest that there are more important things than material goods, but having had them, lost them, regained a little of them, I can report that their value is grossly over-rated. Satisfaction in my life seems to be dependent on my spiritual condition, my connection with friends and family and how I’m leading my life. When those weren’t going well, no amount of toys could make me believe life was good and, similarly, when they were, who cared about the dross?
So yes, a 55-year-old salesman (that would be me) might very well lose his job today and have no hope of regaining his economic stature. Wall Street hotshots have even more to lose, farther to fall. While they’re falling, they probably don’t want to hear happy talk about the rosy life that awaits them but after bouncing off the bottom, if they look around and don’t spend all their time trying to return to the surface, they might find that life goes on, and is often improved, without what they had. So endeth the sermon.
For What It's Worth 
Failure is subjective and relative
Everyone, including smart self-made billionaires like Paul, suffers personal and career failures in life; just need to look hard enough (most media types are too dumb to figure ’em out; that’s why they are in media/entertainment biz); but what matters is how guys manage such failures, major or minor, and move on in life
Great sermon, really great. So much so I think you’ve missed your calling.
My kids grew up in a Greenwich-like town, with privileges, private schools, networking, and support like those mentioned. No matter that, both my children have experienced many set-backs and each will tell you it has made them the adults they are today. No failures or parents with a net to pick up the pieces equals boring, uninspired children. While it is hard at the time they are experiencing a failure (my oldest got canned last week), it gives them resolve, a quality I admire beyond just about anything. I remember the first time I was fired decades ago (when I thought I was indispensible), I was scared, sad, and embarrassed to tell my friends, but today I look back on it with fondness. It was the first time someone bumped me down a notch and I deserved it. Thank you Mr. Daley, if you are reading this.
Chris – I have “lived” your sermon, too.
Perhaps Megan is too young to appreciate that “success” does have quite a different meaning for some of us.
While I wish that most never have to face some of what I have in my own life – I nevertheless realize that it has made me who I am. And it also has made me appreciate that “success” really is not tied to your paycheck or your “things.”