Will Scott Frantz join him?

The Narcissist of Riverside – at least Barry takes his selfies with hot chicks

Peter Tesei to slither over to anti-gun rally next week. There’s nothing much left to do in Connecticut but to finish the job and confiscate weapons. Jonathan Perloe, one of the Greenwich residents behind this rally, is for exactly that. Tesei, like Frantz, like our other selectman, Drew Marzullo, claims he only wants to see ‘common sense” regulations. Well the boys of Greenwich got that last year and exactly as predicted, they’re back for more.

UPDATE: On Saturday, March 8, from 12:30 to 2 p.m. at Town Hall. It’s (yet another) bicyclist rally. Pray for snow*, but be there.

* Or bring bags of caltrops

Tesei achives life-time ambition, denies Fudrucker new term on the P&Z

Peter Tesei

  We’ve known this was coming. The pale, weak-chinned First Selectman has been obsessed with his former political opponent at least since they ran against each other for First Selectman and probably all the way back to First Grade, when little Frankie pointed out to fellow classmates that Petie had wee wee running out his sorts.

Literally – Tesei has been consumed about Fudrucker these past years, saying preposterous things and making outrageous untrue allegations. Guess his selectman duties don’t take up all that much time. One good thing that will come out of all this is that I am now free to fire at will at the smarmy bastard, and boy do I look forward to that. This will be my last civil posting on the man.

Well, at least one of our Selectmen is working

Peter Tesei in disguise (the men's Rolex gives him away)

Third Selectman and EMT guy Drew Marzullo has come up with a cheap (free, actually) way to communicate with emergency services at Tod’s Point, where cellphone coverage can be spotty. Beach goers nervous about their security or health while hiking the park can check out a radio at the ticket booth and return it when they leave. The radios are older analog instruments that the police no longer use so they were just gathering dust, but they still work, and pressing a single button will connect the caller to the police dispatcher. That’s a smart idea – I don’t know if it’s necessary, although Marzullo came up with it in response to concerns expressed by his constituents so someone wanted the ability to summon help, but what makes it especially smart is that it basically costs the town nothing. If it doesn’t work, or there’s no demand, no harm no foul.

But what I think we really need is a way to reach our First Selectman and his tax collector to find out when, if ever, they plan to send out our property tax bills. I realize that Mr. Tesei, who is rumoured by Scusie to be on Nantucket working on his all-over tan at Miacomet’s nude beach, is out of touch (the only place to carry a phone in that state of nature tends to muffle the sound), but couldn’t tax collector Laudonia carry a cellphone in his golf bag?

By the way, where is Greenwich Time on this scandal? I lost my only reader there when Bernie Yudain died but I can’t be the only one squawking about this.

Fountain for Tax Collector?

My brother John is visiting and, reading about our new tax collector Tod Laudonia’s nonfeasance, suggests that I run for the office. I’ll admit the idea has appeal. I know nothing about tax collecting, so I’m as qualified as Mr. Laudonia, the job pays $100 grand a year and is not only part-time, it is, at least as performed by Laudonia, no time. Unlike Laudonia I don’t golf but I do enjoy sailing and fishing so I could keep myself as busy as he does. As to putting out tax bills, who cares? As several readers have pointed out, the taxes are due whether or not a bill is sent, so I could fire everyone else on the staff, for a significant saving, and just direct the town attorney, who’s already on the town payroll, to sue everyone twice a year.

I like it.

Tesei rocks

Don’t tell his former challenger and my friend and business partner Frankie Fudrucker, but Greenwich’s First Selectman Peter Tesei is not only doing a good job, he responds quickly to constituents’ emails. I sent him a message about Google’s offer to install super high-speed Internet access in towns our size and he  now says he’ll have someone pursue it. The chance of success on that are hard to determine – balance Greenwich’s prestige, and the number of households with computers capable of handling high-speed Internet vs. some lowly town in Ohio that makes a good sob story and I don’t know how it plays out in corporate headquarters. But I am hugely impressed that Peter’s * going to try.

* I believe I’ve met our First Selectman once, so my use of his first name is a complete fraud in so far as it implies a personal relationship.

You can thank our First Selectman for this

Two former town employees, Garo Garabedian and Ennio De Vita, have filed age discrimination complaints against the town. I’m not familiar with Mr. Da Vita but Garabedian was a top notch fellow who always exuded a calm confidence and excellent grasp of the facts when I heard him speak at various public meetings and zoning hearings over the years. I was astonished that Tesei fired him but even more appalled at they way he did it, ordering the man escorted out of Town Hall under guard as though he were some criminal to be feared.

Perhaps Garabedian would have complained anyway – he’s 64 and surely felt wronged, but if Tesei had done the honorable thing, given him a public farewell and perhaps a ceremony to thank him for his decades of service to the town, the ill-will could have been mitigated. As it is, the man is pissed and coming back at us. Even as a taxpayer who will end up footing the bill for any award he’s granted, I say good for him.

Tesei denies offering to post bond for Perlitz

"Hush Money Express", Greenwich Rep. Headquarters. Photo by Scusie

Douglas Perlitz withdraws bail application, remains in jail. Perlitz, a pedophile who preyed on Haitain orphans while pretending to succor them, chose to stay in prison rather than have his bail application heard. A number of anonymous benefactors were reported to have offered to post the $5 million bond but Peter Tesei denies being one of them. “I can’t understand how that rumor got started,” he told FWIW’s Scusie, “unless, unless, hey, wait a minute – have you been talking to Denice Savagaeu?”

Ooooh, the Greenwich Selectman race is getting nasty

Here's a friggin' crisis, bitch!

It started when Peter Tesei called Lin Lavery “a yellow-bellied, scum-sucking liar” for claiming to have founded the Junior League’s “Kids in Crisis Center” five years before she’d moved to town. Lavery burst into tears, called Tesei “a mean little snot who rode the short bus to school” and the battle was joined.

Yesterday, Lavey pointed out that Tesei missed the Stimulus gravy train by setting the application for return of stolen monies to one side of his desk and forgetting about it. This charge was backed up by Cos Cob’s Jim Himes, who supplied an email stating “Peter couldn’t find his left buttock with both hands so it should surprise no one that he doesn’t know how to fill out a grant form.”

Stung, Tesei demanded a retraction and Mr. Himes, mindful of local politics, disavowed his previous email and assured Greenwich Time that our First Selectman could indeed find his posterior, “provided he gets his head out of there first.”

Not satisfied, Tesei now says that his plans “to get a zillion, kabillion dollars” from the federal government were sabotaged by a Democratic mole. The point person on that task, he said, was Denise Savageau, the town’s conservation director.”She’s handling this – someone says they’re handling it, you trust they’re handling  it.”

 “Let’s point out that Denise Savageau’s husband is a member of the Demmerkrat Town Committee,” Tesei said. “There’s not necessarily an unbiased participant in these actions. Is she manipulating her actions to undermine my office? It certainly could give pause as to what her motivations are.” 

 “It’s a plot,” Tesei told FWIW’s Scusie, “a plot against me! But I know who’s doing it and I know where he’s hiding the ice cream over there on Mead Avenue. You’ll see, you’ll see. Ahahahahahahaha!”

What a baby!

First Selectman Peter Tesei refuses to debate his opponent, Lin Lavery on a local cable show (viewership, 5), citing the fact that mean old Ed Krumeich would be there to ask questions (as would softy Peter Crumbine, from Tesei’s own party). “I’m no Dan Quayle,” Tesei explained apologetically, “I can’t think on my feet. So I insist on nothing but big, fat softballs lobbed up by a nice lady from the League of Women Voters. Or one of my kids – yeah, that would be okay, too.”

Come on, Peter, she’s a girl!