Hey Andy, did Hoops know about this?

So why do you have to work late tonight, Andy?

Madoff offices were known as “The North Pole” for all the cocaine being spilled there, and the atmosphere was usually enhanced with drugs, booze and topless wimmin. I guess if you aren’t distracted by actually working, you have more time for partying.

Another tidbit I wasn’t aware of: Bernie’s new chef and pal in prison is a child molester. I wonder if he snuggles with old men too?

UPDATE: I haven’t read the article, but I wonder if Bloomebrg mentions Bernie’s office as part of its article, “Top Ten Ways to find Joy at Work”?

Gone fishing

"If it's endangered, kill it!"

Off to the water until Friday, so blogging will be light to non-existent, depending on internet availability. Hoops, if you’d like to get away from that whiner Andy, I’ll be somewhere off Montauk. Why not leave the Madoff boys to deal with the lawyers on their own and come away with me?

Speaking of flopping, stunned fish, my dream date’s getting closer

"I'm sorry, Andy, but can we still be friends?"

The feds are supposedly closing in on the Madoff boys, Andy and Mark, and may indict them after Labor Day (even prosecutors like to take the last two weeks of August off). Real estate mavens may want to start focusing on the boys’ Greenwich homes on Cherry Valley and Tomac, liens and all, but I’m thinking that Andy’s girlfriend Catherine Hooper may finally be ready to dump the fellow – fishing sucks in Ossining, from what I hear.

Catherine Hooper’s desperate plea: “Let my people go!”

Ruth can’t get her hair dyed at her usual salon, Mark and Andy are despised by their peers in New York and Greenwich and Bernie, poor Bernie, is scared that someone wants him behind bars for more than twelve years. All this tragedy is what no doubt prompted Andy’s main squeeze, Catherine Hoops Hooper to call this blog with a message of compassion and love. “They’ve suffered enough”, she told us, “even Minnesota Peg agrees.” It’s time to forgive, forget and let bygones be bygones.” Who could disagree? But Hoops, if Andy does lose all his money and you still want to go to the Keys this winter, let’s talk.

See? Swim away, little fishy. Bye bye!

Mark and Andy Madoff – fishing fools or dad’s willing accomplices?

The general supposition among Madoff scandal fans has been that Mark and Andy, Bernie Madoff’s sons, were too busy fishing and playing kissy kissy with beautiful women to trouble their dura matter with deep questions like the meaning of life or the source of dad’s money. Now two ex-Madoff traders have sued the kids, alleging that they were in on the scam. Truth or fiction? We don’t know, but the fact that they’ve signed up Ric Bourke and Walter Noel as character witnesses suggests that their homes on Tomac and Cherry Valley may soon be on the market.

Andy Madoff, Catherine Hooper (Cat in the hat)

Well okay, sometimes crime does pay

 

Poor little guy is homeless!

Madoff trustee starts “hardship fund” for victims. Walter and Monica first to apply, Catharine Hooper follows.

Bad news for Madoff fleecees – trading unit’s worth just $15 million

That’s the highest (and only) bid received for the trading arm of Madoff’s phony empire – the one run by the boys, Andy and Mark. For reasons that escaped me, the receiver and other experts had estimated its worth at $400,000,000 and had included a large part of that figure in determining that there was $800 million available to pay creditors. Yet, it turned out, the operation never made money and was subsidized by Bernie’s thefts from his own investors. The one bright spot? Andy and Mark have been fired and now have time to go fishing with Hooper.

 

Who needs money, Andy, when we can live on love and bonefish?

“That’s fine, Bernie, it reduces our paperwork”

Bernie Madoff made exactly zero trades, ever, through Madoff Investments. He probably made no trades at all through anyone, investigators think. I  don’t think this revelation helps brother Peter or sons Andrew and Mark – they knew Bernie was doing something involving trading and surely, in 30 years, they must have sneaked a peek at at least one client’s monthly statement and thus been aware of the volume of the supposed trading activity yet they never questioned why no trades went through their branch of the family firm? Never? When there were huge fees to be made from such trading? That makes no sense and certainly doesn’t pass the smell test.

Hoops, if you’re reading this, I’m free for coffee anytime, at your convenience. Let’s talk – the ice will be out of the upper Delaware in just a couple of months.

More dangerous than being loose in Home Depot

Well I did find that Orvis warehouse sale (just as a reader advised, it’s in the former Comp US store in Norwalk on Rt. One through Jan. 25th). Fly rods 1/2 off, and who doesn’t need a 3 piece 5 wt pack rod for his next backpacking trip?, $98 men’s shirts for $19, bluejeans and fly line for the same $19. Such a deal. I can’t say I saved $79 on the $19 shirt because I wouldn’t pay $98 for a shirt if it glowed in the dark and hummed “Dixie”, but for under $20 it’s a better deal than my usual source, Greenwich Hospital Thrift Store, and it’s new, so I don’t have to wash someone else’s sweat out before wearing it. Same deal with the jeans – Levi’s cost $34, so $19’s a bargain, whatever their original price. Of course the fly rods hover around $600 so even 1/2 off doesn’t exactly scream bargain but when you desperately need a 5wt, are you really going to complain? I thought not.

So now, properly outfitted in Orvis togs and with a nice new rod tucked under my arm, I’m ready to meet the Hooper. She’ll never notice the difference between Andy and me except that I, at least, can still afford to treat her to a cup of coffee.

Orvis

 Gideon Fountain (no relationship that he’s willing to admit to but “Brother Gid” to me) alerts me to a warehouse sale being conducted by Orvis through January 24th up on Route One, in Norwalk. Not at their store, if one still exists, in Darien, but in the shopping center with a Supermarket – perhaps where Compu US was? Anyway, they’re selling stuff for pennies, including fly rods for 80% off. Why would I need another fly rod? There’s always room for a fly rod – especially since another  brother seems to have disappeared my Powell custom 3 weight. I’ll go check it out and when I find the place I’ll report its exact location here. Of course, a better bet might be to just wait for either Andy or Mark Madoff to hold a garage sale which I’m sure is coming in the near future. But by then, I’m sure I’ll have discovered still more gaps in my arsenal. 

Funny thing – I seem to have rekindled quite an interest in fly fishing lately, even in the dead of winter. Can’t quite figure out why.

 

Hoops catches another one, Seychelles

The Madoff Boys have another idea

Let’s start an oil drilling limited partnership! You give us money, we’ll go drill and if we find anything we’ll let you know, just as soon as we’re back from flyfishing. Guaranteed profits? You bet Catherine Hooper’s ass!