Sometimes it’s not just the price

exterior lanemann[Edited at the request of the seller's lawyer - sorry!]

Another real estate web site, hooked on houses, has posted an interesting collection of interior shots taken at 1038 Lake Avenue, a house that has languished hidden from the market since it was first offered for $9.7 million in 2005. It’s down to a mere  the astounding price of just $7.495 now (interesting, the latest listing doesn’t even bother to supply a description – I suspect someone’s getting tired of explaining the gloriously obvious features of this house) and, judging from the filings recorded against it in Town Hall, the sellers better get a move on before a sheriff does it for them – but that doesn’t mean that there’s even a whiff of financial distress involved here – you know public records – so often wrong!. But price alone may not be the sole reason for this house’s failure to sell. These are, according to the seller’s lawyer, “difficult times” – Boy, I hadn’t realized it but I should have, this house being dressed to kill and all that and still not selling.  Here’s what it looks like.

lanemann entranceliving roomkitchenbedroom Ilanemann bedroom

UPDATE: Reader Lisa identifies this unfortunate situation    gobsmacking example of the decorators’ art    as a product of the design team Diamond/Baratta and by gosh, shes right. Here’s their site, in which they proclaim themselves “geniuses”. Only in New York or in this case, way the hell out in the sticks of out in bucolic Greenwich. Which gives me a thought: the owner of this house might be able to sell it back to the boys from NY to raze praise, and bury their mistake use as a demonstration of their brilliance forever. What price, genius?

35 Comments

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35 responses to “Sometimes it’s not just the price

  1. anonymous

    And what’s wrong with clown-themed decor? Appeals to both sellers and any possible buyers

  2. anon

    My eyeballs are burning from looking at the interior pictures of this home! uggghhhh

  3. Stanwich

    I just had a seizure from those pictures.

    This is damn near criminal to do this to a home.

  4. Cos Cobber

    is this a stanley kubrick home?

  5. dogwalker

    ditto. Who the heck was the “decorator”?

  6. lisa

    Definitely a Diamond/Baratta decoration…..very distinctive, but not one of their better examples. They usually are beautiful, and exuberant with color.

  7. May already be to late. According to http://www.foreclosure.com the house is in preforeclosure (lis Pendens).

    Property Information
    Bedrooms: 5 Bathrooms: 7 Living Area Size: 9,648 Half Baths: 1 Total Rooms: 17 Lot Size: 182516 Style: Colonial Year Built: 1999 Day(s) On Site: 112

    Property Tax Roll
    Assessed Value: $5,180,560 Property Tax: $41,652

    County Tax Roll
    Lot Size: 182,516 Total Sqft.: 9,648 Taxable Value: $5,180,560 Year Built: 1999 Last Sale Date: 02/18/2000 Last Sale Price: $4,400,000

    Foreclosure Information
    Plaintfiff: Astoria Federal S&L Owner First Name: Steven P Owner Last Name: Braverman Published NOT Date: 04-09-2009 Fiscal Year: 2008 Last Sale Amount: $4,400,000 Last Sale Date: 02-18-2000 Filing Date: 04-09-2009

    Loan Information
    Last Mortgage Amount: $2,500,000 Last Mortgage Date: 05-11-2007

  8. Cobra

    And who says high grade acid is getting scarce?

    Clearly the designer responsible for this projectile-vomited dog’s breakfast must have done about 1,250 micrograms via a temple shot. Wavy Gravy would have approved.

    However, coming down and discovering the results of this phsyco-journey must have been very disturbing.

  9. The Duke of Deception

    I kinda like it…

  10. Wow! I didn’t know all this history behind the house because I had only seen the real estate listing. Very interesting.

  11. Grace

    I recognized the distinctive D/B right away when it came up on the foreclosure sites…they are “known” in all the shelter magazines, featured at least twice a year. But the question is why?

    FYI- everything they do is custom. everything. the fabrics, the rugs, etc. this was not a cheap decor, perhaps part of the problem?

  12. Sanjay Bigglesworth

    That Parcheesi rug is top notch. I wonder if something like that can be purchased off-the-shelf.

  13. Helsa Poppin

    That last room reminds me of those optical illusion rooms where you look like either a giant or a midget depending on where you’re standing.

    I’ve seen a lot of decor that is generic and soulless and some that is aggressively weird, but never such a blend of the two. Is that how Diamond/Baratta markets themselves? “Our style? We like to call it generic quirky.”

  14. towny

    blame abbey

  15. xyzzy

    hrm interesting site: foreclosure.com.

    Been intersted in which house on Nawthorne is in preforclosure.

    • christopherfountain

      It’s the vacant lot, xyzzy, nice waterfront. Owners expected to build two houses on it, couldn’t, and now it’s going down.

  16. xyzzy

    Ahh thanks. I figured it was that property but I wasn’t sure.

    Haven’t looked at that property yet because I figure they gave the other house a right of way or something.

  17. pulled up in OG

    Woulda been really cool if D/B had consulted on the outside of the house too.

  18. pulled up in OG

    The visual equivalent of blasting Barry Manilow to Gitmo inmates.

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  20. Paco

    So that’s the work of trendy NY designers, eh?

    Based on my experiences in Saudi Arabia thirty years back I’d have guessed it was something done up to please the tastes of nouveau riche Bedouins newly arrived in a city with indoor plumbing with their goats* and concubines in tow.

    * Amazing, isn’t it, how many times those critters show up on this blog?

  21. Eileen

    Diamond/Baratta actually have a nice website with beautiful examples of their work, that’s most likely why they were engaged for the decorating, too bad they don’t live up to their website examples.
    That home looks like it was decorated with carpets from discount chain stores.

  22. Anon

    Looks like decorator and client were definitely tripping on acid to think up that decor…guided by the muses of Peter Max and Escher, and employing more money than taste…wow!

  23. ogrcc

    nice to see so many acid references on a blog devoted to greenwich RE

  24. Anonymous

    Good luck with this. There seem to be some powerful people behind these letters, if the foreclosure records posted above are accurate.

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  26. Anon_Reader

    I wouldn’t feel too sorry for Mr. Braverman. He appears to be a bit of a ‘shady character’ as my grandmother used to say.

    http://13dtracker.blogspot.com/2007/07/is-super-secretive-hedge-fund-targeting.html

  27. “De gustibus non est disputandum.” I like it, too. It’s colorful, upbeat, happy. Might be nice to come home to this on a gray Monday.

  28. anon 1

    Top reasons why 1038 Lake Avenue is so wonderful:

    1) It is an effective screening test for color blindness.

    2) It shows very well because kids can mark up the walls with crayons while touring and no on will notice.

    3) It’s both relaxing and captivating — it’s like one big screen saver.

    4) Your teenager kids will not dare drink, because being drunk coupled with the decor = extreme nausea.

    5) If your drunk teenage kids do get sick, the stains on the floor will not be noticeable.

    6) Offers a real pick-me-up to counter the effects of prozac and lithium.

    7) You have a valid reason to give your guests for wearing sunglasses indoors to look cool.

    8) You can personally look like crap because your guests will be so distracted that they won’t notice how you look.

    9) The look is timeless. It will elicit the same reaction in 20 years as it does now.

    10) No more worries about those pesky red wine marks on the white carpet after parties.

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  30. anon

    Thanks for the epileptic seizures. You really should put a warning on your site before revealing the photos.

  31. Very nice place almost like palace,I will vote for it