Himes to retire from Congress, run for town Tax Collector

Grand entrance to the Himes Mansion

In a scoop exclusive to For What It’s Worth and our ace reporter Edgar Martins we can now report that Jim Himes will retire from Congress and ascend to the vacant office of Greenwich Tax Collector. Reached at a Trustee meeting at the prestigious Lawrenceville Academy near Princeton, Himes was eager to explain his decision.

“The pay’s about the same,” Himes told Martins,” except Greenwich has better health benefits, and here’s the deal: I’m getting killed on property taxes. I mean yeah, fifty acres in Cos Cob’s gotta be worth something, especially with the decorating job I did on the house, but come on, it’s still Cos Cob! When I’m in office I’ll whack my assessment and the saving alone will make up for my foregone trips to the Galapagos Islands. Hell, I’ll be able to buy my own private jet to take me there.”

Reached for comment, Riverside resident Scott Frantz again denied any interest in running for Himes’ seat: “Not gonna do it, no way. But he really said that, huh, huh? I gotta go.”