Obama’s already on the phone demanding his release; thank Allah they won’t take his calls

And I’m supposed to be impressed with this because?

Egyptian military captures Al-Qaeda’s top man, Ayman al-Zawahri (I had to look that up), who is said to have planned the 9/11 attack and most of the other terrorist atrocities his band of brothers has carried out, before and since.

UPDATE: never mind! A reader points out that my hasty reading caused me to assume it was Ayman himself who’d been captured but it was just his brother. No wonder we’ll be granting him asylum.